Dear Mom,
I wish you were here because it's girl scout cookie season and somehow, by some miracle, you would find a way to get that little piece of home to me in whatever strange corner of the world I was in.
I wish you were here because whenever I called you, I felt every emotion, good and bad, and you validated feeling emotions, even when it was hard and there was a lot of crying. I never felt bad about being sad or full of emotions. You taught me to hold on to them, and fight for them and with them.
I wish you were here because I worry about Dad. I worry about him falling. I worry about him eating too many microwave dinners or canned pasta sauce. I wish you were here for your chicken enchiladas and your sporadic baking extravaganzas you would sometimes have. It's a miracle that none of us are overweight.
I wish you were here to take out for a glass of wine or sit on the porch and smoke one of Dad's or Andres cigarettes as a guilty pleasure and special treat, as we talk about life, traveling, galavanting and love.
I wish you were mostly because you were my mom and I feel like I turned out pretty well and you passed away just as Pablo turned 1 and was turning into a real person. I wish you could know him. I think of you every time he does something new and wonderful. I think of you when we call Grandpa or when we look at pictures and he sadly doesn't know who you are. It breaks my heart that he won't know you and your grandmother talents that you clearly graced Noah with, who was crying buckets throughout your entire funeral. I think of that day when Pablo wasn't able to sit still, being a new walker, and wish you were there to see him cruising around the funeral. You would have laughed and been whispering at me or him to come to you. You would have taken him and played with him outside and made him giggle his magical laugh.
I wish you were here because no one will replace you. No one except you and I remember the day we were at the immigration office all day with my stomachache which eventually became appendicitis. No one except you will remember how it felt to arrive on top of O'Cebreira after one of the longest, hardest hikes we had both done in awhile. No one except you will love me the way a mom does.
Yours,
Heather
#SOL20 #day3
I wish you were here because it's girl scout cookie season and somehow, by some miracle, you would find a way to get that little piece of home to me in whatever strange corner of the world I was in.
I wish you were here because whenever I called you, I felt every emotion, good and bad, and you validated feeling emotions, even when it was hard and there was a lot of crying. I never felt bad about being sad or full of emotions. You taught me to hold on to them, and fight for them and with them.
I wish you were here because I worry about Dad. I worry about him falling. I worry about him eating too many microwave dinners or canned pasta sauce. I wish you were here for your chicken enchiladas and your sporadic baking extravaganzas you would sometimes have. It's a miracle that none of us are overweight.
I wish you were here to take out for a glass of wine or sit on the porch and smoke one of Dad's or Andres cigarettes as a guilty pleasure and special treat, as we talk about life, traveling, galavanting and love.
I wish you were mostly because you were my mom and I feel like I turned out pretty well and you passed away just as Pablo turned 1 and was turning into a real person. I wish you could know him. I think of you every time he does something new and wonderful. I think of you when we call Grandpa or when we look at pictures and he sadly doesn't know who you are. It breaks my heart that he won't know you and your grandmother talents that you clearly graced Noah with, who was crying buckets throughout your entire funeral. I think of that day when Pablo wasn't able to sit still, being a new walker, and wish you were there to see him cruising around the funeral. You would have laughed and been whispering at me or him to come to you. You would have taken him and played with him outside and made him giggle his magical laugh.
I wish you were here because no one will replace you. No one except you and I remember the day we were at the immigration office all day with my stomachache which eventually became appendicitis. No one except you will remember how it felt to arrive on top of O'Cebreira after one of the longest, hardest hikes we had both done in awhile. No one except you will love me the way a mom does.
Yours,
Heather
#SOL20 #day3
Such a sweet letter to your mom! How lucky she was to have you in her life and you in hers! Thank you for letting me in on such a personal moment in your heart!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this personal and sincere letter to your mom. I hope it was healing to write. You clearly had a strong bond and that bond and her love continue to live on forever within you.
ReplyDelete