This morning: Saturday, March 3

Part 1:
This morning was
Crusted eyelids
Rolling over to check the
5 am
Deciphering hungry cries or
grumpy grunts and
Finally
Succumbing
A baby in one hand
Another pulling out the breast
A latch and a sigh
My head resting on the wall
Back squishing into pillows and
Pablo sucking away
Satisfied.

Part 2:
Breakfast at the cafe
Please don't bring those
plastic things
They are only toys to him.
Banana pancakes mmm
Mess distress
A smile makes it all
fall away.
Your antsyness perserveres
and we feel the need to
move. 
Luckily we don't need much
coercion with a 4 year old
cheering us onto
the park.
To the swings! Hooray!

Part 3:
Your wiggly body
is easy to manipulate
into the curves of the
seat swing.
We jiggle those arms so that you
can grip for dear life.
Smiles fluctuate
as you drift slowly
back and
forth,
back and forth,
sucking the air and
the world around you
in.

#slifeofLife #TWTblog #kualalumpur #babylove #morningswithPablo

Cotton Candy Skies

Cotton Candy Skies

The skies this morning were soft piglet pink
 and shades of lavender
swirled with dashes of baby blue. 
These colors
and the sticky, saturated Malaysian heat
sent my imagination
through a portal to
Coney Island boardwalks.
Smells of buttery, salty popcorn
drifted through the air, while
cheerful smiles, caramel cornered
light up the stalls
of vendors.
Bright eyes
illuminate the night sky
on roller coaster rides
going up and down
up and down
spiralling wildly
as if to pump up
the laughter.
And so I smile
to myself and slowly
return back to my
day, wondering
where the weather
will carry my
mind.

#sliceofLife #isklproud #Malaysia #weatherwords #teachwrite #twt

The Blinding Ride Home

The rain sputtered slowly down on my windshield and although the sky had morphed into a milk, hazy grey color, I had no fear of the rain.  I live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.  The rain is just another part of our days particularly in the afternoon. It's not a matter of if but more of a matter of when and how much. 

The sputtered drops came out like a slow puffy muffler giving no sign of the fierce wall cloud that appeared within minutes, creeping in from every angle of the earth and making me feel so small.  I sat my eyes moving left, right, up, down.  My mind envisioning my car lifting up like Dorothy's house in The Wizard of Oz and floating us to a faraway land.  But the silver Myvi sped on knowing that was all we could do to get home, knowing that was the only way we would not become a victim floating in the mini pools forming on the DUKE highway and counting on my eyes to help bring us back to our homeland.

#kualalumpur #sliceoflifechallenge #marchmadness #teachwrite 

Recipes for Success: Recruiting 2017

I have been MIA for the last 6 weeks.  It was all due to the monster some of you may otherwise know as recruiting.  Recruiting is a beast that I find hard to tame even after being in the professional world for nearly 20 years.  Recruiting is a beast that will consume you, toss you around, make you doubt yourself and at the same time make you better at your game than you've been in awhile.  It can suffocate, empower and move you to creative wisdom or put you on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

To be honest, it all could have been worse.  I had one of the most pleasant recruiting sessions I have had in my existence and why, a few good reasons.  #1,  I didn't obsess.  I mean I did.. Don't get me wrong.  I updated my website.  I started blogging, tweeting, more.  I checked TIEonline twice a day for new job postings and I sent some pretty crazy last minute emails when considering if I needed to buy a fight to Dubai the next day.   Okay, maybe I did obsess, a little.  #2 I obsessed a little but I zoomed in on what I wanted.  This was a big shift in years past.  I am lucky that the nature of my job over the last 2.5 years has morphed from literacy coach to ES learning specialist and my toolkit has expanded.  Having said that, my work in the last two years has made me even more aware of the fact that I would prefer not to be in the ES classroom while it remains in the traditional current model.  ES classroom teachers are incredible super humans but they are undervalued, highly underpaid, overstressed and the demand of being competent in 4+ subject areas, a wizard of instructional strategies, a master of differentiation and a counselor/ psychologist to the ever shifting needs of 21st century learners; is highly unreasonable.  Therefore, my job search was basically down to two options: instructional coach or MS Humanities teacher.  I saw pros/ cons of going back into the classroom or staying out and building on what I have the last 2.5 years but in narrowing my choice down to those two positions, I breathed a little easier.  #3 Consider those who count. I have a family to think about.  Andres, my dear partner, moved for me this last time.  He wanted to move again but after experiencing the wonderful world of international teaching and not always so rosy, as a trailing spouse, we both had clearer criteria of what we wanted next, and with super Pablo in tow, we knew having help was crucial to our well-being as professionals, and as passionate lovers invested in one another. 

Those of you around the world who both work without help and a young child, or two, or four, I repeatedly pray for you daily and salute you from afar.  #4 I identified my strong network of friends going through the same process and we coached one another.  Whether it was talking through potential interview questions while pumping for our babies or discussing positives and negatives of job offers; having two women who I admire as educators and aspire to be like as mothers and global citizens was definitely a success factor.   Finally, #5, I tried as much as I can for having control issues and wanting to clear mental space to not care too much.  Staying in Kuala Lumpur was an option: a good job, an easy city, solid friends across neighborhoods and a wonderful nanny, we had very little to complain about.  I tried to say a mantra of "It's going to be fine and work out" everyday and I reflected at the beginning on all that I wanted to be and at the end of the day on all that I was thankful for.

So there you have it, my Recipes for Success as you go into recruiting season 2017-18.
1) Don't obsess. Okay, you can a little, but give yourself a break.  You are probably much better than you are giving yourself credit for.
2) Zoom in on what you want.  I know this is hard, but you need to think, job, country and consider the characteristics that affect your happiness that will theoretically always surround you. It could be your cat OR your desire to drink wine easily, be outside and run (in which case, do not go to Dubai).
3) Be aware of your needs and the people who matter's needs.
4) Surround yourself with love and people who are going through the same experience.  Coach one another.
5) Try not to care too much.

And for those of you who don't know where Andres, Pablito and I are going next... you owe me an email. XoXo

Embrace Your Crazy Past, It Might Just Inspire a New Adventure.

Last night, I was in the company of some good friends, on a breezy balcony on the 23rd floor, overlooking the steamy humid city and KL skyline.  Life could be worse, that's for sure.

It being a Friday night after a busy week, it was easy for the conversation to go south and downward spiral into a bitch session about school but luckily we resisted and we spoke of motherhood, past locales, meeting our "person" and the spontaneous things we used to do.  Spontaneous things that largely shape us into who we are now today.  For me, it was leaving a steady paycheck, breaking contract and moving to Barcelona, because I knew that being single in a place where I was regularly told while running to stop because I would be kidnapped, was not a place I needed to be at that point in my life.  For another friend, it was the last minute decision to move to Tucson instead of Washington where she and her partner got a job immediately and ran a side gig of creating digital flipbooks at weddings and bar mitzvahs.  And another, who had made the decision to move to Mexico, shortly before meeting someone, who she ultimately let follow her even though she wasn't sure about the decision at the time.  The point is these big decisions are real and complicated and we often toil long and hard with what will be.. and it is.. And then we look back, we say I wish I could be that crazy again.

This leads me to think that we should be. Remember those moments you let yourself be vulnerable and try to drizzle, drop or throw that back into your life.  Within the last 24 hours, I considered the question.  "What is something that you want to do in the next 5 years that you could reasonably do that is nonconventional?" Have another child.. Maybe but boring.. Run the NYC marathon.. totally possible...Try a new career with food... It could happen if I applied myself.. But all of these were so individualized and really independent goals that I could do if I created that path for myself.  "Dig deeper" I told myself. I also realized I had to consider my family.  Now more than ever,  they are a priority and their happiness and involvement in my potential crazy actions is key.   And then it flew in like a feather magically floating in the air connecting the dots.   Sailing.  Andres likes to sail.  I want to learn.  What if we were somewhere I could take a sailing course?  What if in 5 years we decided to take a year off and sail? Why not? I could homeschool Pablo.  He would be old enough at that point. It's a crazy idea but not impossible.  And given that anything can change in seconds, shouldn't we be romanticizing endless possibilities at every moment possible?

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to look fondly back on our pasts and take those moments to fuel spontaneity.  Our wisdom gained over the years will contain some of that impulse but this is a positive.  We can still be risk takers, we'll just be better at it. 

The Balancing Act: What Comes First? The Reality vs. the Desired.

This morning at 6:30 am, I was feeling like super mom.   Pablo was strapped to my chest in the baby bjorn, smiling at every soul who touched his delectable toes.  On the way to the cross country meet in which I was helping co-coach, he slept peacefully, I chatted with a new friend, quietly thinking to myself, "I got this."  And then 2 hours later, my world turned upside down.  I was at the race corral waiting to help organize the U9 runners and I had let a dear friend take care of Pablo for the last 30 minutes and she came running to me.  He was crying so my immediate thought was, he might be more hungry or he wants momma, but the reality was he was overheating in the Malaysian heat and I almost had a meltdown trying to find my baby a place to cool down.  30 minutes later we were in an air-conditioned office and I had to accept that I was only going to be able to do one thing in that moment in time and clearly, being a mom took priority.

What I realized from all this is that last thought "I had to accept that I was only going to be able to do one thing in that moment in time."  Being someone who has been a master multi-tasker for years, motherhood has put a big kink in that mastery.  I think it was my third day home when I was trying to do laundry, cook dinner and take care of Pablo all at the same time and really for no reason as I had a confinement nanny to help me that I realized, you have to let go and it's okay to not be in control of everything.   We are so spoiled to be able to afford help.  First, we were blessed with Shelley, a Chinese confinement nanny, that cooked beautiful healthy Chinese food for Andres and I for the first 28 days after I had Pablo and helped with putting Pablo to bed.  Everything she did essentially helped in making our lives as a family easier and I think we ended up being more chilled out parents because she was around.  Having her, gave me the power to realize that I can't be everything and that's completely okay.   Since then, we have had the incredible Cora, who brings more smiles to Pablo's face every morning.  With going back to work early, I don't think I could have found someone better that I truly trust to essentially part-time raise my child.   Nevertheless, being an older parent and having embraced my balanced, independent, compartmentalized life for so long,  I didn't realize that having a baby would actually force me to be even more balanced, but also prioritize.

Unfortunately, sometimes as an adult, we can't prioritize exactly how we would like. Being the working visa in our family meant going back to work sooner than planned. Being in a new position as ES learning specialist often puts me in three times as many meetings as before.  More than ever, I have to find the silver linings. It's cool that Pablo was born in Malaysia, and has one parent that works from home. It's amazing that ISKL included Pablo as a family member effortlessly with visas, insurance and other benefits.  And, it's good that this momma continues to get a number of intellectual challenges daily.  In addition, my new position helps me be a better leader and have more voice in student learning.   Silver linings are my medicine, this is my reality not a desire.

When I find out the perfect recipe for balance, I probably won't need it.  I'll be a millionaire living in a quiet beach town basking in the publication of my novel and writing a Spanish childrens series called Mananas Con Pablo.  Until then, wish me luck. 

Techie Awards September 2017 #edtechchat #inspired

Boom! Mr. Steve Katz @SteveKatz did a 5 minute Techie Awards at our school today.  It was a fresh way to engage teachers with the things that we are doing @ISKLproud and it was motivating to be better in tech.

So it's September 2017 and I am setting some personal goals for the school year.

• Instagram daily and follow people who have similar interests particularly around food, travel and photography
• Tweet at least three times daily.  These can be tweets or musings from me, from the work I am doing in classroom, from articles I read, in response to things we do each day or experience
• Blog at least one time a week about life, teaching and learning, being a mom, trips, etc
• Try a new tech tool each semester and actually use it: this one I am going to have to do some research on and find a teacher who I can work with to pilot this in their classroom or at the grade level #takerisks #trysomethingnew #lifelonglearner

I'll see you next week if not sooner.   In hopes that I get my lights switched on, sooner than later.  #lightitup #bethechange #inspire