Last night, I was in the company of some good friends, on a breezy balcony on the 23rd floor, overlooking the steamy humid city and KL skyline. Life could be worse, that's for sure.
It being a Friday night after a busy week, it was easy for the conversation to go south and downward spiral into a bitch session about school but luckily we resisted and we spoke of motherhood, past locales, meeting our "person" and the spontaneous things we used to do. Spontaneous things that largely shape us into who we are now today. For me, it was leaving a steady paycheck, breaking contract and moving to Barcelona, because I knew that being single in a place where I was regularly told while running to stop because I would be kidnapped, was not a place I needed to be at that point in my life. For another friend, it was the last minute decision to move to Tucson instead of Washington where she and her partner got a job immediately and ran a side gig of creating digital flipbooks at weddings and bar mitzvahs. And another, who had made the decision to move to Mexico, shortly before meeting someone, who she ultimately let follow her even though she wasn't sure about the decision at the time. The point is these big decisions are real and complicated and we often toil long and hard with what will be.. and it is.. And then we look back, we say I wish I could be that crazy again.
This leads me to think that we should be. Remember those moments you let yourself be vulnerable and try to drizzle, drop or throw that back into your life. Within the last 24 hours, I considered the question. "What is something that you want to do in the next 5 years that you could reasonably do that is nonconventional?" Have another child.. Maybe but boring.. Run the NYC marathon.. totally possible...Try a new career with food... It could happen if I applied myself.. But all of these were so individualized and really independent goals that I could do if I created that path for myself. "Dig deeper" I told myself. I also realized I had to consider my family. Now more than ever, they are a priority and their happiness and involvement in my potential crazy actions is key. And then it flew in like a feather magically floating in the air connecting the dots. Sailing. Andres likes to sail. I want to learn. What if we were somewhere I could take a sailing course? What if in 5 years we decided to take a year off and sail? Why not? I could homeschool Pablo. He would be old enough at that point. It's a crazy idea but not impossible. And given that anything can change in seconds, shouldn't we be romanticizing endless possibilities at every moment possible?
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to look fondly back on our pasts and take those moments to fuel spontaneity. Our wisdom gained over the years will contain some of that impulse but this is a positive. We can still be risk takers, we'll just be better at it.
It being a Friday night after a busy week, it was easy for the conversation to go south and downward spiral into a bitch session about school but luckily we resisted and we spoke of motherhood, past locales, meeting our "person" and the spontaneous things we used to do. Spontaneous things that largely shape us into who we are now today. For me, it was leaving a steady paycheck, breaking contract and moving to Barcelona, because I knew that being single in a place where I was regularly told while running to stop because I would be kidnapped, was not a place I needed to be at that point in my life. For another friend, it was the last minute decision to move to Tucson instead of Washington where she and her partner got a job immediately and ran a side gig of creating digital flipbooks at weddings and bar mitzvahs. And another, who had made the decision to move to Mexico, shortly before meeting someone, who she ultimately let follow her even though she wasn't sure about the decision at the time. The point is these big decisions are real and complicated and we often toil long and hard with what will be.. and it is.. And then we look back, we say I wish I could be that crazy again.
This leads me to think that we should be. Remember those moments you let yourself be vulnerable and try to drizzle, drop or throw that back into your life. Within the last 24 hours, I considered the question. "What is something that you want to do in the next 5 years that you could reasonably do that is nonconventional?" Have another child.. Maybe but boring.. Run the NYC marathon.. totally possible...Try a new career with food... It could happen if I applied myself.. But all of these were so individualized and really independent goals that I could do if I created that path for myself. "Dig deeper" I told myself. I also realized I had to consider my family. Now more than ever, they are a priority and their happiness and involvement in my potential crazy actions is key. And then it flew in like a feather magically floating in the air connecting the dots. Sailing. Andres likes to sail. I want to learn. What if we were somewhere I could take a sailing course? What if in 5 years we decided to take a year off and sail? Why not? I could homeschool Pablo. He would be old enough at that point. It's a crazy idea but not impossible. And given that anything can change in seconds, shouldn't we be romanticizing endless possibilities at every moment possible?
So, I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to look fondly back on our pasts and take those moments to fuel spontaneity. Our wisdom gained over the years will contain some of that impulse but this is a positive. We can still be risk takers, we'll just be better at it.
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