Moths in the lamplight

I know the title of this article sounds like an album title. Probably a fun task for my next two days off; coming up with an album of songs that represent the year thus far; maybe a song a month. If you could generate an application that produced a list of songs, that would be pretty amazing too. I guess coming back as a techie in my next life would be interesting, I feel like I am being set up to do that by the overdoses of tech I absorb everyday. Nonetheless, I like the album idea, task, see how if I can start a trend. Will do and post the challenge to others, as it seems like a good thinking and reflecting task.

It's funny, the last time I wanted to start a tried was about 10 years ago in college, when I was sure that everyone should reuse Basmati rice bags, because A) they're cute and B) it's good for the environment (I realize how terribly blonde this sounds)... but it caught on a bit and for awhile canvas and reused bags were all the rage...

I spent the last 10 minutes watching outside my bedroom window, a moth flutter around the street light. It reflected and glowed against the damp, dim night setting, but it moved around magically like a little ember of light. And if I can see beauty in these moments, then I am either losing the plot, or feeling a bit better.

I guess it was yesterday when Ronnie was texting me at midnight, unable to sleep and I was 2 hemispheres away feeling exactly the same way. I am humbled to know that I am not the only one feeling lost in transition... I like to blame things on planetary alignment when things seem to rain down hard on a lot of people in different places around the world.

I went to the colonial area of Caracas today. It was a nice afternoon, talking about the differences in east and west and really being able to verbalize the purpose behind this project that I want to do. I think that I am ready to go to the wolves in January and go to get the money. I know what I am talking about and doing and I don't feel scared to go do it anymore. I mean, nothing good comes out of being afraid... I won't be hosting any parties in La Vega next year, but I want to continue to see the other side of Venezuela and the more I go out, the more I use my Spanish and the more I learn how to blend with what I wear, the more I am beginning to want to understand Venezuelanos and really share their stories and realities with the world.

Finally, I applied to lead the Experiment in International living again today. It's a summer program for high school students and I feel now I would be more capable than my application 5 years back. Additionally, in anticipation of a career change in 2-3 years, it would add something fresh to my resume that is a bit (only a tad bit) but off the beaten path of the traditional classroom... weehee, experiential learning...

I'll return to the burning lamp with fireballs doing aerials around the light... xox