There's only now, there's only this, forget, regret or life is yours to miss.

Another gorgeous weekend: yoga in La Estancia, followed by a 35 B 3-course meal at the local version of an Asian open air market, with some reggaeton blasting while we eat bland seafood soup. A night full of laughter and golf swings, roast chicken, guasacaca, sharing music, movies and ideas. A morning running 6 km and an afternoon haring a 5km hash run with Eileen (Yay, amiga!) that ended up with folks old and new coming to be a part of something.

And then, a return to work, which continues to baffle me and make me wonder how and wonder why? The kids continue to challenge and inspire me particularly when I teach reading and writing, I thrive on helping them understand, watching them make inspiring connections and seeing them dive into their reading as much as I do. (Says the girl who is reading 4 books at once). However, after 30 years, and 1/3 of them working in the professional world, you think I might have been able to sort out finding a job that challenges me. And while a friend says focus, I have been more focussed in the last 2 years then ever when it comes to work and somehow, it seems to be using my face as a punching bag right now. My team is being good, working as hard as possible to keep things easy for me while trying to manage the 800 other things that get thrown at them. I am just trying to stay afloat in a few areas and my teaching is suffering a bit for it. In Math and Language, the kids get 150%, I love it, I know what I am doing. Quite frankly, I have never had difficulty ever adjusting a language arts program to meet my needs and the needs of my students. Nonetheless, when it comes to Science and Social Studies, I am finding it difficult to understand that collaborating between 4-5 people is impossible because we did it last year with 7 and yet, involving specialists is doing my head in and it makes me tempted to say "Just give it to me, all of it." But if I took that road, then my true passions such as L. Arts would suffer and I would shrivel up into a raisin...

So, I have started an application for the foreign service. With my luck, they'll say "red card" flaky peace corp applicant. Or, I'll have a really tough time passing the standardized test, yet, nonetheless, I am thinking that it might be time to take my people skills in a different direction when more frustration than satisfaction is beginning to arise in my current existence.

Bummer. We'll see, might as well get on the passive-aggressive new career track. I love teaching and will always give it my best go, I just feel I am swimming upstream right now...

Missing little pichaels with nicotine and vino issues, tall bald men with the pieces that fit the puzzle, music exchange with over-energetic Kiwis, runs and meals and inspiring life chats with a certain lady who hasn't recognized her addiction to diet coke and smoking.... To my gorgeous people, let us meet somewhere spectacular soon. :)

To teach or not to teach, that is the question?

Obviously, I am teaching. I already am not sure I like the sound of that; however, the last few weeks and number of punches in the stomach I have received has made me wonder, do I stay with this or talk about another passion and run with it...

On one level, when I am challenged and actively learning like students by absorbing myself in writing curriculum or reinventing the wheel on technology in my classroom, I am excited, overstimulated and nerdily engaged in my work. On the other hand, when I go to professional development meetings that are supposed to "develop" me and come out feeling like I need to enroll in taekwondo class again to rid myself of some of the anger, I am not sure I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now and that I am doing what I am supposed to.. I think the field and surrounding myself with people, actively visualizing and thinking about how to engage and combine strategies to make these kids love something is a great thing and I do that as much as I can with what I like working on, but how much is enough?

A colleague of mine posted a link to a cool website yesterday and the ted-talk that the Indian man did, http://www.ted.com/talks/sugata_mitra_the_child_driven_education.html made me think that I just want kids to want to learn, is that such a difficult task? Some kids want to learn but is it because of competition? Social constructions? the structure of school? Do the kids I teach have the same stamina as these kids who haven't been given anything? Sometimes, when they are in a moment and we exchange moments, I see it and it's gorgeous, there is nothing as wonderful as those kids connecting with the one time when your tooth fell out from a piece of halloween candy or you got nervous because your friend quit on you in a talent show. And the magic that comes from energizers when you are bouncing and the kids explode, their hands up aching to be called on to tell their stories and moments. These are what keep me sane as a teacher but the in between stuff is frustrating.

I guess I should be happy I mean, not a lot of people have so much satisfaction from their jobs. So, I should be satisfied with what I get, but this is my life and although I believe in reincarnation, I am not sure there will be more with these strengths, which leaves me back where I started.

I guess a bigger question is what on earth else would you do?

Cheese farm, I love cheese and the idea of being on a farm etc, but I am not sure I am romanticizing the reality on this one.

Grow grapes, more realistic but requires some schooling and a plot of land... Who do I get the earth from?

Open a bed and breakfast with Lisa in ???? Who's my sugar daddy?

Go back to Asia and get involved in the movement to help technology help kids learn in a way that they never imagined possible? Will I ever find love though?

So many options and yet, I like running, travelling, schedules and food and wine...

I think this will have to be reviewed shortly in the future because after the day I had involving my inspiration at the school resigning literally a month after school began, I am a bit biust and overwhelmed at the moment...

Revisit, rethink, reinvent...

Por L'ahorra

The name of this blog is based off a popular Reggaetone song here called "Por l'ahorra" which can be translated into "for now," which is pretty much what my life is.

A week full of ups and downs including a rollercoaster ride along the Venezuelan coast listening to Italian reggae music with a Norwegian friend followed by night swimming... Some hate mail from the Australian in Mykonos, ouch that tone can be heard so loudly through words on a screen. A marine house party and feeling like the last green giant on the planet, being the third tallest but by far most interesting at the party. And finally, some cool caipirinhas, filling fish meals and wacky waves at Tortuga.

It hardly ever slows down here in Caracas. Culture shock just hit me like a bus yesterday afternoon. I missed my friends and long soul-searching wine sessions and enjoying hedonistic affairs that have been a part of my life for the last two years. I am still convinced that the only super power that really needs to come into my life to make me live longer involves teleporting because then I could pop over somewhere for a glass of wine or some som tum. Before I die, I want to see fantasy become reality at least once a year... I think, that maybe that has happened more than a few times this year, so embrace, remember and hope or life is yours to miss.

My current personal goal beyond mastering el futuro en espanol cual es muy facile, and learning a little bit more about the socialist revolution. I need to work on speeding through the novel I have been reading since this summer and get into some Chavez. I want to figure out the love/ hate relationship people have with him and Socialism. And, as an educator I want to understand how it works and pleases most Scandos with Socialized governments and high education levels, most are happy or generally so. On the contrary, here educated people seem to leave Venezuela or are hugely opposed to the man himself, so what is really going on that is antagonizing people so? It still seems like there is potentially some access to pursuing a dream here... We'll see.

More soon.. Ciao

Crazy in Caracas

Wow, so it's been such a long time and I have now been in Caracas for 3 weeks.

Caracas is a wonderful city. A mix of old and new and somehow, there seems to be a lingering of the 80s prominent in everything from exercise equipment to old chevys. The subway looks like old commuter NY trains. Dress is more circa de 70s with tight bootilicious jeans and colorful bubilicious tops.

And yet, green, lush and with the buildings built into the hillside instead of the land being demolished to build other buildings, the city is stunning. Crime aside, there is another side of this town with the friendly folks, wide variety of cuisine, cheap medicine and involved sporting culture that makes it a desirable place to live.

In my last 3 weeks here, I have gotten to run, swim and hike more then I have in the last 6 months without coughing up a lung of sand, feeling dehydrated after drinking 5 L of water and getting fungi balls in my ears from whatever potent potions were chlorinating DAA's pool. Hiking was possible in Oman and the UAE but after being spoiled by Colorado, upstate New York and Vermont and Seoul; hiking just doesn't seem like hiking without green.

Nonetheless, I have seen darker sides of Caracas as well. Last weekend, I met up with some friends, Caraquenos, who took me to a neighborhood that I am not sure I would have gone to had it been in the safest city in the world. People drinking beers on the tops of their old cars, wooden porch bars with neon lamps and brick paneling, heavy rock pumping out of the sides of these places, we parked ourselves at a tasca (little Spanish diner/ bar). I might as well should have been a shark in a Kansas farm, as I was blonde and Czech white standing out, but my willingness to both speak and listen in Spanish kept us from drawing insane amounts of attention. Nevertheless, after I calmed down about the entire situation, so did the crowd in the restaurant. Milagros, Jesus, David and Alejandro and I sat and drink Polar beers and discussed the beforeidieiwantto project. Good stuff! We headed back to Las Mercedes at 2:30 and unfortunately but luckily at the same time had the unfortunate chance of running into a scene (of which we were not involved) that involved cops pulling their guns out on folks on motorcycles. Clearly, we swiftly moved away.

The next day, I explored Altamira, areperias and then, went to the hash house harriers where I met a wacky but lovely Canadian women and her half Peruvian daughter; about 2/3 of the Norwegian embassy and some funny Venezuelans who had hearts of gold and loved to play childish clapping games.

Overall, good times and looking forward to more fun and more posts.

Rain has been incredible here, I actually love rain when it's warm. We nearly got swept away after a day of shopping, while unloading a school bus. The street morphed into a fast moving stream and it was necessary to hold on to something in order to not get swept away in the mid-calf high water.

Today while on a 4.5 hour hike, we bushwacked through the side of Avila, while stomping through a muddy small steady stream forming down the mountainside.

Can't wait to write more. It feels like I am actually living abroad for the first time in years.

Bezos y abrazos.

The Great American Stay-cation 2010- Portland

Swirls of coffee seeped into the tunnel of light in Portland airport as I navigated through the multicultural crowds trying to find a way out and into the breezy Oregonian weather.

Lisa and Anika pulled up in a grey sedan and away we went for a slow food Portland lunch. Lisa had tuna melt with bacon. I had a pulled pork sandwich with applewood cheddar and jicama fennel coleslaw... Mmmm-ey.

After lunch, we rocked out to Seattle, which had amazing weather, winds were dancing around us, lifting up our wispy hair and doing dips with it, sun was pouring into give our faces this radiant glow you get after facials or good sex. We sat out on a balcony overlooking the Pacific, a cozier cuter less crowded version of Cape Cod and sat with old friends and new enjoying bloody marys and cold beers.

After a lengthy porch session, we piled back into the sedan and headed for Lisa's sister's house in Tacoma, which overlooks a beautiful inlet where you can often see Orca whales wandering in and out of the bay.

Sat out on the porch, drank some wine and fell asleep to the whispers of pines tickling each other. The next day, hugely involved family, perpetuating the American staycation vibe, we went to a all-state summer track and field meet for family members of all ages followed by an upscale version of Pizza Hut and then, a sleepy eve.

On day 3, we rushed back to Portland for some shopping and bbq comfort. It's always great to meet your friend's good friends. It makes you understand your relationship with that person better and also, makes you see the growth that they've done without even knowing the half of things.

Portland is a beautiful city. however, I feel I might have gotten a somewhat bias opinion being there in the 3rd week of July, probably infamous for being the best week of weather all year long. Nonetheless, I loved the fact that most of the people there were my age and I didn't feel old or like a huge chunk of my generation had moved out of the sticks desperately seeking culture... The food and wine scene is probably what would suck me in. On the contrary, the necessity of a car and mediocre weather, even though the city is stonewashed in greens, would make me doubt putting it in the top 5 places to live if I ever moved back to the good ol US of A...

Summer swept away: part 1: Return to Kimchi-land

I think it's been about 6 weeks since I got on that plane to leave Dubai, tears overflowing on my warm face, confusion dancing in circles around my head and my body saying "Please, go easy on me this summer."
Seeing good friends often means great catch-up chats, some good runs, a pile of helpful advice and humongous hugs, healthy right??
It also means good food, copious amounts of wine, bad food and all in that fantastic decision making order...
I started in Seoul, arrived on my friend Peter's doorstep around 7:00 pm and was promptly poured a glass of Chilean red (ugh) and pulled upstairs to the sea of green that surrounded his lofty apartment atop Namsan hill. Because it was summer, you could smell the pork and beef galbi in the air, the garlic hanging off people's balconies to keep the mosquitoes away and the green, moist dewish smell that summertime often produces from a combination of deciduous and coniferous forests intermingling.
My nose and stomach were both highly influenced by these smells and we decided promptly on galbi dinner. We pulled up to the local family mart ( a Korean version of 7-11) and came across 4 more friends, Mirrell, Jerry, Charles and Jackie. We drank beer on the porch and watched the world cup game. Only at convenient stores in Korea do they cater to the local communities urges to sit and drink beer on the stoop. In fact, they built a sheeshy oak porch to provide a place to chillax... We headed down to the galbi lady and I was equally impressed by the Koreans' kindness when the restaurants literally fought over who would host us for dinner. This is particularly funny considering we had two dogs joining us. It was nice to be in a place that was done. A city where people want your business and your company and realize that people live their lives with their dogs and their alcohol... A city where the main physical construction taking place was on the outskirts of town in slight expansionist movements. And where the construction in town was both artistic and social, with young Korean artists opening up bars sporting drinks in plastic bags and eclectic electro French music.. A place where you could see all those foreigners that they'd brought in the last 20 years were beginning to influence Koreans in their internationalism and yet, the Koreans were rubbing off on the foreigners too in the sense their patience was growing bigger and their eagerness to communicate and develop their cross cultural understanding more.

Interesting moments from the trip include:
a) the 15 minute cappucino experience, brewed by candle light and frothed milk made by banging the metal milk kettle against a wooden block in a sort of modern hand dance show...
b) watching the US get into the final 16 in the world cup at 1:00 in the morning and feeling that national American energy (I don't usually embrace it, but this was a magical moment)
c) fighting with pajon lady about there not being enough seafood in her pancakes.. Nothing good comes out of being out at 5 am on a Thursday morning
d) catching up with old friends and new, seeing how lives can remain the same in some ways and dramatically change in others, with categories such as work, love, money, dreams, etc
e) eating probably the best sushi I have had since leaving Korea, gotta love chumchi wae... thanks Charles.

Overall, it was wonderful to be back in Korea, to see friends that I haven't caught up with for 4 years, to be surrounded by people who love and know you inside and out especially when I was coming down from the high of leaving Dubai and to be in a place that celebrates the world cup as if God had come down and thrown a crazy and miraculous party...

I am not sure I will ever return but I am happy to say that it was a part of my life and I highly recommend anyone going to visit or live because the people are raw and rude and feisty and ferocious.

Annyeounghi- gyeseyo for now Korea!

The 50 things I will and won't miss from Dubai (in no particular order)

1. the people that I have met from around the world that have helped me grow, challenge me daily and represent a broader spectrum of careers and countries than any other place I have lived.

2. the February-April sunsets on the beach, reddish-orange skies every night.

3. Lamb chops, tabbouleh and baba ghanoush

4. My students and their dramatic interpretation and dances to the "tabbouleh song."

5. Karama curries

6. Drives to Barracuda, Ras Al Khaimah, Fujeirah-- Camel crossings and dust storms...

7. Rock Bottom, Rattlesnake and Jebel Ali club, trashy bars being a commodity instead of high end ones like in Tulsa.

8. Ladies Nights at Nelsons..

9. Lulu Hypermarket, the world's greatest grocery store, laser light show and you can pretty much find everything in the world you need there..

10. No left turns????

11. Safety, being able to walk down the beach and leave your bag.

12. the sandstorms where you cannot even walk outside without sunglasses.

13. the tall, attractive array of men from around the world.

14. Being surrounded by some of the world's most beautiful people (motivation to stay fit)

15. the warm water beaches

16. Being a 5 minute drive from the beach

17. January-February race months in the UAE

18. Creek Strider mornings- justification of my binge drinking later in the day

19. Interesting taxi cab conversations

20. zen yoga classes

21. Sumo Sushi delivery

22. Random home delivery services: pharmacy, soda water, etc.

23. Living down the road from some of the world's most interesting architectural projects: Burj Al Arab, Burj Khalifa, the World project, Palm Jumeirah

24. the spices

25. Bur Dubai

26. Cheap flights to almost any country in the world and decent travel times.

27. summer shopping sales

28. Runs around Safa park

29. Opportunity knocks- being able to dream up and do anything if you wanted to stay here.

30. Dinner club

31. Irish village beers before flying out at the DXB airport

32. the Coldplay concert in Abu Dhabi, rain; giant yellow bouncy balls, multi colored paper butterflies: MAGIC

33. late night calls from boys only rivaling university days

34. Fun and frequent stories like McArabia (oh, Kristen)

35. bottles of vino with the girls: Kristen, Tara, Carrie, Kate M, Kate D, Becky and more..

36. Some good gigs: 2 Many DJs, Basement Jaxx, Plump Djs, etc.

37. Lime-tree cafe; yummy goodies.

38. Mall after mall after mall after mall

39. dodgy hospital experiences :(

40. random parking tickets with absolutely no proof

41. runs in Media City

42. Satwa area, a little bit of culture in plastic heaven

43. My neighbors who return baking/ cooking favors equally

44. the lack of local produce

45. A spectacular group of colleagues I have learned from enormously

46. Drinking cocktails on my lil' balcony

47. The views from the freakishly high buildings.

48. Sajid's cooking

49. long drives on the highway in the ford focus

50. not knowing whether the city will be here in the next 50 years but at least having been a part of its craze now..